It is very difficult to be selfish. Selfish, in it’s true form. Not possessive. People always confuse possessiveness with selfishness. For me, to be selfish is to just think about your own needs and interests. Then reason and act accordingly to fulfil these needs and interests. Here, you have to take note, I did not add “disregarding others’ needs and interests”. I think I have already made myself clear about this in my previous post.

I realised that until today, I have lived and am living a life just to please others. A lot of the things I do in my life, I have been doing so as to please others. Others include, my parents, relatives, society. I have just never realised it until one day. It is happening in everybody’s life, but nobody realises it at first. A child is trying to please it’s parents, a wife is trying to please her husband and in-laws, a man is trying to please his boss, a woman is trying to please the society. I want to ask here, wtf? Who ever thinks and cares about pleasing oneself?

Have we ever lived a life just to please ourself? Have we ever went to school because we love it so much? Or have we ever done something in life just because we want to do it, not because we are told or forced by someone? For me, if I were to live according to my parent’s wishes, I will study, marry to one and one guy only, have kids and live ‘happily ever after’. If I were to live according to myself, I will study, not marry and live life as it comes.

As days pass, I am beginning to think ‘radically’ about all the things in life always taken for granted. I want to live my life for myself and duh, who’s going to stop me? I am also starting to ‘let go’. It’s like a transition period in my life. Even death doesn’t frighten me anymore. I’m starting to live life for myself, such that if I were to die now, I’m happy. Even with unfulfilled wishes and unsaid love. I don’t know how long this feeling will last. But living life for oneself is so much better than living for others. It’s like Vijay’s character in Puthiya Geethai. That is the only movie in which I like Vijay a lot.