I was just reading this blog post a while ago. I was also watching the two-part series of that program “Neeya Naana” conducted by the controversial figure Srikanth as the author in this post talks about. The program was about what a complete man and complete woman should be like. According to me, I think the program did not really finish off the debate. The girls crowd and the guys crowd also do not represent the whole Tamil Nadu population. But the views they expressed are widespread and can be agreed by most of them.

The most controversial part of the talk show was when the girls quoted the economic status of the complete man according to their views. The author quotes the following in his quote:

“…the group of women had the following commandments to identify the male’s fitness to marry them.

– Rs. 50,000 salary per month (mostly everybody agreed on it)

– A double bedroom flat with centralised AC

– Car and other accessories

I was really amazed, as to how, not even a single women wanted to affirm that they wanted a self-confident dude or a person who is aiming for a success in his career.” 

Well, what is wron with that? I don’t see why the author expects the women to be hypocrites. It’s easy to say that I want such and such confident man and all that, it’s true. But a man’s wealth proves much beyond that. It shows that he is really confident, that he is hardworking, that he is intellectual and a lot more. Those women ask such salaries because they themselves are earning very well. Hard facts and truth are what the show demands of the participants and what the show presents to us. so that is what we will get.

I agree to the author, however, when he says that, “When we were are in a framework where women are fighting for equal status, why is there a disparity in seeking a partner with higher income. Are they treating themselves as unequal or inferior, have they lost the battle before it has begun, I never thought they were masters in meeky submission.”

The girls in the show were actually saying that men should be earning more than them. That is BS! If the girls in the show are like that, then the author should not base his judgement through their views, because their views don’t represent all the women. I certainly wouldn’t care if my “complete” man had a higher salary than me or not. Why should the women in India, or more specifically in Tamil Nadu degrade themselves in such a way? And they say it like as if they are giving in to the guys with great hearts. That’s the most ridiculous part of it. But rest assured guys, girls are changing.

The show is incomplete, I say. The host didn’t ask the same questions to the guys, that which he asked to the girls. Like for example, he didn’t ask the guys what are the five most important things they expect from their complete woman. I tell you, even if the host had asked such a question, the guys would not have quoted any salary, house, possesion of a car or accessories. Our society is still narrow-minded and stereotyped. If the men and women have really achieved equality, the show would not have progressed in such a way.

There was this guy sitting in the front row, who said that he wouldn’t mind having a woman as his wife even if she consumes alcohol or smokes. Well, that’s BS too! What a hypocrite! Tell me this guys, would you honestly accept a woman who drinks, even if it is only occasionally? Or for that matter, someone who smokes? Most of the girls themselves do not accept guys who drink or smoke. They consider it irresponsible behaviour, not fit for family life. How would guys? Unless he is from the US or something, he might. But Tamil Nadu guys are conservative. They expect a family type girl when it comes to marriage and becoming wife. They expect a “chick” girl when it comes to dating and having fun. That’s the summary of guys. Period.

It is true as the author says that “it is a myth that economic prosperity beyond a level leads to happiness”. Wealth is just a means to achieve the end, but is not the end in itself. The end here being our own happiness. So therefore, what the author says is true. Wealth does not give happiness. Whatever you achieve through wealth gives you happiness.

According to me, my complete man should have the following: 1) Must be atleast 2 to 4 years elder than me. If younger, max is 1 year. 2) Must be a businessman. 3) Must be independent, living on his own salary. 4) Must have views similar to mine, like he must also be an objectivist, atheist and a feminist. Both of our visions for the future must be the same. Not listed in any order. But the most important one must be no.4. If he meets no.4, he is automatically no.3. No.2 is not mandatory. No.1 is my ideal but not necessary.