New insight in life…

Great things in life always fall in place and that is what gives real happiness for all of us. When the things we desire after, happen without us asking it, that is the greatest happiness feeling one will ever feel.
Some of you guys know that I love designing and have done many posters, a few logos and stuff… I never knew I had love for designing when I got into NUS. If I had known earlier, I might have taken an art degree. The more I get into science, the more I feel I am best suited to the Arts… Lol!
So right now, I came to know about a Diploma course in Communication Design. This opportunity came to me on its own! I was very surprised that this course matched my interests exactly! I had a long conversation session with the marketing executive from the Chatsworth Medi@art Academy, and found myself getting attracted to it….. 🙂 The fee too seemed reasonable. But I have now decided to cool it off till I get a job, because then after that I can finance myself for this Diploma. It amounts to around $645 per month. Should be enough even if I were to just give tuitions….
This happened together with another incident, when Mr K told me that he can get me started on a small level business with my knowledge in graphic designing. He told me it would be better if only I had some professional training in this area.
It surprised me that these two events happened together, one after the other, and made me think probably its meant to be… These two incidents ignited a small fire inside me. This fire has started to show some sparks regarding setting up a small scale freelance business. But my parents are not open about it.
I then realized that I am too old for getting permissions from my parents. I have to step up and take my own decisions in life if I were to make something out of it. By my age, my mum had already gotten married and given birth to me, my dad had moved to Bangalore alone and supported all of us with a meager income. I am their daughter. I too have the same temperament with regards to this. If I don’t, then I should cultivate it at least.
So I’ve decided to go ahead with the Diploma, but only after I find myself at least a part-time job, which has a reasonable salary prospects and slightly related to my degree in Life Sciences.
With regards to my spiritual journey, many things have happened. I just started a new class with Mr K as our teacher. He is teaching us a wonderful text called “Sadhana Pancakam”. It is very direct to the point and a good guidance for a spiritual aspirant like me. Basically it means “5 verses of practices”. This is my first lesson as a person desiring after moksha (mumukshu).
2 years ago or even a few months ago, I would not have declared my life goal openly like this in a blog. But I declare it here and now, that my life goal is to attain moksha. Moksha here meaning, the realization that there is nothing but the eternal reality. In other words, that I am God. However, before I get there, I need to condition my mind to be one-pointed in focus and remove the nuisances and obstacles present in my mind. Thus, a class like “Sadhana Pancakam” is a great tonic for me.
People might think that I have become a samiyar, but oh well. It is their problem! People might assume that I am trying to curb my desires. People might also think that I am not gonna marry and have kids. People might think that I am gonna repress or control my emotions and devote my life to praying, meditating and fasting… If you are one of these people, then sorry.. You are up for a big disappointment. 🙂
I will be doing everything what others also do, but with a different attitude. A few additions in my life right now will be my sadhanas (practices) such as 10 minute meditation, japa meditation (the one you do with 108 beads), chanting sanskrit shlokas, studying a text, and so on.
I think this will come as a new information for my friends, but it is better that I state my intentions clearly. Enjoyment is always there in my life. But I don’t hanker for it, and neither will I miss it if it is gone. Some differences might arise between friends. What you value very much (like cricket, or particular clothes) might mean nothing to me. What I value, you might not relate to it at all… I don’t want my friends to wonder what is wrong with me. So if they observe such things now, they know why it is so… 🙂

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