Update pls…

It has really been a long time since I blogged. But all this while I have been having a good time with my family, friends and myself. I have done some soul-searching and have found out a lot about me. I’m really happy and content within me. Reading and listening to Osho has given me that insight of his.

I’m going to India again this June! To Chennai through SQ and then to Salem! We’re going to do our home-warming for the house that my father was building. It’s complete now and we’re very happy. The name of the house is going to be “Haripriyas”. Haha:) The first is my sister’s name and the next is mine! It’s lovely, but we had other names in mind. Like “Geetha Illam”, my mother’s name. But it sounded like a refugee house or something. Then my dad was making fun like naming it “Geetha Gugai (Cave)”:)) Anyway, it’s “Haripriyas”.

This time the trip is going to be fun because I’m also attending my cousin brother’s wedding! They are rich people and so their wedding function is bound to be grand. I feel so excited right now to go India. I’m also anxious about my university application. I’m not worried about the scholarship ones, I don’t need them anyway. I know I’ll get admission to the science faculty. But still I’m excited to see that in words from the university itself.

Anyway, what am I doing here blogging crap, nothing useful? It’s my blog, does it have to be useful or beneficial to anyone in particular? No! Why do people blog anyway? Sometimes it’s a nuisance to maintain a blog just for your friends to see. Sometimes we just use it to show off. Sometimes it’s just relaxing to sit and rant all you want. For me, it’s a journey of revelation. I blog solely for the purpose of meeting people online and to make friends with them. If friends come my way to talk with me and read my blog, I will be glad and happy. If they don’t, I’ll still be happy to be given the chance to blog.

There is a meditation technique that buddha teaches to his disciples. It’s really a very good technique. Just disconnect yourself from everything and everyone. You are no longer a son, a daughter, an officer, a doctor, a hindu, a friend, a man or a woman. Just disconnect yourself and see what is left of you. Then ask yourself who you are. An answer will come, but just disconnect from that too. Then ask yourself again. Then you will realise that no answer comes out of you. This is what you really are. Just be a nobody and you will come to like yourself, to love your aloneness.

I like to remain like a nobody forever. But identity has become an innate part of ourselves that we have to be somebody. No matter who I am and will be in this life, I definitely don’t want to be a ‘wife’. The tasks that come with that status, are something that I definitely don’t want to do at all. I don’t need to in the first place. I will never wash his laundry, cook his meals or bear and rear his children. NEVER! I’ll never be a good wife, not to mention a wife!

But now that doesn’t mean I’ll never marry. I have to marry! Atleast that is what the society wants. The society or for that matter our own parents don’t really care about what we kids really want. To them, we are just kids, innocent and know nothing. But they know. They know that we need to get married to a good person and they think that that will end their line of duties supposed to be performed.

I’ll marry. One day, I will and have to. But not to become a wife.

Oh btw, I’ll not tell who the baby is supposed to be until someone guesses it correctly. I’m expecting the first person to be correct and I hope so. I know so:)

Evolution of blogs

Today’s GP lesson was fruitful and yet wastefull. We had a great discussion about the evolution of blogs and its effects on our Singapore society. I somewhat attempted to answer the question and got a 5 out of 9 marks. I’ve never gotten above a 2 or a 3. I was quite surprised. But i lacked depth in my analysis and was making a lot of generalisations. At first the two comprehension passages on the democratization of blogging was blur to me. As i read it again today, i understood the arguments of the author. I said wasteful, because our tutor wasted a lot of time ranting and advicing us on how we should approach the question. Whatever she said was good, but she kept on repeating her points again and again. And she keeps emphasising on the length of our AQ (Application Question). I clearly don’t understand why. The length doesn’t matter, only the quality does. One might have written a lot of crap in that lengthy AQ for all i care.

The AQ had covered largely in the area of how blogging is good and bad for the country in general. It allows for the exchange of ideas between people on an equal footing, it promotes a mature discussion of taboo/controversial topics, it creates a Singaporean Identity as the different races come together and more importantly, it relieves our apathy for politics. On the other hand, blogging can misguide the public and easily influence people since most of the blogs have no basis for whatever they claim. Any content that is racially discriminating can disrupt the racial harmony in our mutli-racial society. The government would certainly never allow for that. However, the AQ could also have included the benefits and problems of blogging to the individual person.

It could also have included the emergence of increased advertising in blogging. A lot of blogs nowadays contains Adsense or something like that. The blogs feature ads that will earn money for the bloggers in a per-click basis. This is a new avenue for the advertisers, as blogging becomes more and more ubiquitous. However, a lot of blogs today give first-hand consumer advice, on what products to buy and so forth. There are blogs that advice on what laptops are suitable for a college going student, or what computer software to purchase. With such advice more easily available, why would people want to click an adsense ad? Or any kind of ad for that matter. We might just as well go search for blogs that offer such advice, if we have the need to buy a certain product and are desperately in need for an advice.

Of course, blogging and other related programmes like the Youtube, Movable Type, Friendster and so on can never replace the mainstream media. While people might spend a lot of their time sitting in front of their computer and reading other people’s blogs, they have to turn to the local news channel or BBC/CNN to get latest news reports and live reporting of news. Not that kind of selective reporting that we see in blogs. Blogs might do a good job in reporting, but they also add a certain individual perspective to it. And furthermore, most of the news reported on blogs are not always true or have sufficient evidence to support their claims.

I have realised that my concentration/focus is not that effective as it used to be previously. Last time, when i was in secondary school, i used to do yoga. Not everyday. But as frequently as possible. I loved doing it. I can’t do very advanced poses. But just something like the cobra pose, the bridge pose and the chair pose. They might seem to be easy to do. Yes, they are. But they can exhaust you soon enough. Yoga is something that clears your mind and refreshes your body. Mix some meditation with it, and you would feel the difference in just a week.

Look at me. I’m just talking. I’m not doing any of this now. I know that the ‘i have no time’ excuse is a stupid one. I should at least do the 10-minute meditation to keep my mind in focus. Trust me, those who do it know its effects, the 10-minute meditation is really good. The difference might not be noticeable now. But it really helps. You would start sleeping peacefully, and thinking clearly. You would notice that your breathing has improved. And that your concentration has also improved. I should take my own advice now.