So, this is officially the 100th post of my blog! And so I’m going to change the layout of my blog again. I can’t seem to help it. What can I do? You people have to bear with me. I hate to remain the same throughout. I like changes. I tend to get bored quite easily.

I want to start something new. Like a series this time. Yesterday night I was feeling so excited that I could barely go to sleep. I don’t know why. But it happens to me occasionally. Especially, if I have a lot of thoughts going on in my mind. Or if there is something interesting to happen the next day. So I decided no harm is going to come to me (I don’t care about the others) if I list down the musings of my mind. Well, it’s quite hard to recollect and write the thought flow of my brain (if it has any flow at all!). But I will do my best. I will have to ignore my personal thoughts that are only meant for me. You can imagine whatever that would have been, I don’t care, honestly.

So before I went to bed yesterday night, I was reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged . So here are my thoughts:

“How could Rand put everything in words so properly? And they say that she is not a good writer at all! Like she said, ‘The motive power of man is his moral code.’ How true it is? I have thought about such things but have never found the right words to phrase it up like she did. I don’t know if I should include this in my blog tomorrow. But what the heck? I should not listen to anyone saying that I should stop ranting about Rand. But I should stop because I think that I should. Enough of Rand.”

“I love my family so much. I mean, last time I used to find them a bit off my level. But I realise now they are quite open-minded about me. They give me a lot of freedom and trust me a lot. I don’t feel thankful to them for that. Because parents should only control their children up to a certain age. After that children should be left on their own. Be it parents or anyone, they might have the right but it doesn’t mean that they own the children. My mum is fine with me doing things my own way. But it’s just dad, who is a bit worried me. And I don’t know for what reason.”

“Incidentally, do you think that parents have the right to demand that the children take care of them when they grow old, like they took care and provided for their children? First of all, the parents made their choice to have children and therefore it’s their responsibility to provide for us, no matter of what choice we take when we grow up; to care or not to care. If they provide for us with the expectation that we will help them later in their life, then there is no true affection involved in the parent-child relationship. The couple should have made the decision to provide for themselves only. But as children we have to help the parents in their old age, when they are incapable, both financially and physically, to take care of themselves. I mean, they are our parents who brought us to this world, who gave us life. So essentially, by helping them, you are helping yourself. I don’t know what I am blabbering at this time of night. But yeah. They don’t have the right to demand. But we should help, when necessary, not to earn a good name, or to collect ‘punniyam’ or crap!”

After some private musings…

“Why are my relatives so narrow-minded? Gosh! I can’t imagine how they manage to live in that filthy house with filthy conditions. It’s not like they don’t have money at all. My uncle’s house is very small, enough for just two people to live. They could have used the money to renovate the house, maybe? But they used it to buy a bigger TV. Can you imagine my shock? Why do they draw a line around themselves and refure to come out of it? And my cousins… All they care about are trivial things such as sarees, embroidery, jewellery, cinema and so on. And all they ever think of is marriage. After that, their life is over. That’s all. Full stop. But why should I muse and rant about them. It’s their own problem that they are like that. It’s just that, I couldn’t talk to anyone normally. I just couldn’t bring myself to talk about stuff like that. It seemed so boring. It was like they were just talking for the sake of talking. Just for time pass. Luckily there was Keerti, and we both started off at the same level.”

So then after this final musing, I started to scold myself to go to sleep. Because by this time, I was twisting and turning on the bed! And in my thoughts I do keep referring to someone called ‘you’. Like talking to a person in myself. I guess a lot of people think like that. It’s like there is an person in each and everyone. I guess that is what the hindus call the ‘soul’, made of the five elements and of the five senses. So until next time….